1. When dog food is new and with improved taste, who tests it?
2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)
3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
4. Can you cry under water?
5. Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else)
6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)
7. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)
8. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by oneseyes)
9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay up and watch)
10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)
11. What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)
12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would s/he remember that s/he forgot? (can somebody help )
13. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
14. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)
15. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
16. If drinking & driving is not allowed, why the hell they have parking in Bars?
Sunday, 7 October 2007
Thursday, 4 October 2007
Lessons on Holy Matrimony
Lessons on HOLY MATRIMONY from a friend:
A couple drove down a country road for several miles ,Not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep ," the wife replied, " In-laws."
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, " What?"
One day, a man said to his wife, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time".
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages. That it indeed says........ .. "HEBREWS"
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it."
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious , he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't awakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. Really!
A couple drove down a country road for several miles ,Not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep ," the wife replied, " In-laws."
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, " What?"
One day, a man said to his wife, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time".
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages. That it indeed says........ .. "HEBREWS"
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it."
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious , he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't awakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. Really!
Never Argue With A Woman!
One morning the husband returnedafter several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along came a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman. She is more intelligent than you presume her to be!!
(its a forward)
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along came a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman. She is more intelligent than you presume her to be!!
(its a forward)
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
Beauty & Contest
In a recent bollywood flick Pyaar Ke Side Effects, a man wants to know the reason behind the keenness of a girl to get married. His friend answers by pointing out that this is the day when the bride has the best clothes and jewelry. It is a beauty contest in which she is a sure shot winner.
So are weddings just a tool for becoming a centre of attraction.
The answer to that is Yes & No, depending on who you are and what you think.
Yes, as becoming a centre of attraction is easy during this period. You not only get a whole lot of loud, heavy clothing but also jewelry. Plus, all eyes throughout the celebrations will be on you – the looks, the walk, the talk and whatever follows.
No, as these lavish celebrations symbolize much more. In many cases, these have become a tool for showing off if you are rich and burning a huge hole in your pocket if you are not that rich. Plus, it gives people with loads of time on hand and no work, something to talk about, or rather something to think about – “Who wears the same saree at every occasion, who wears fake diamond jewellery or who is the most eligible bachelor – the list is endless…
To me, at times the Big Day celebration don’t seem to be more than a toothpaste commercial for The Couple, who just have to keep smiling in spite of their jaws aching in front of relatives/friends they may have met only once in lifetime and may never see the whole bunch again except at someone else’s wedding.
But then, my dear, who said Indian weddings are a simple affair?
So are weddings just a tool for becoming a centre of attraction.
The answer to that is Yes & No, depending on who you are and what you think.
Yes, as becoming a centre of attraction is easy during this period. You not only get a whole lot of loud, heavy clothing but also jewelry. Plus, all eyes throughout the celebrations will be on you – the looks, the walk, the talk and whatever follows.
No, as these lavish celebrations symbolize much more. In many cases, these have become a tool for showing off if you are rich and burning a huge hole in your pocket if you are not that rich. Plus, it gives people with loads of time on hand and no work, something to talk about, or rather something to think about – “Who wears the same saree at every occasion, who wears fake diamond jewellery or who is the most eligible bachelor – the list is endless…
To me, at times the Big Day celebration don’t seem to be more than a toothpaste commercial for The Couple, who just have to keep smiling in spite of their jaws aching in front of relatives/friends they may have met only once in lifetime and may never see the whole bunch again except at someone else’s wedding.
But then, my dear, who said Indian weddings are a simple affair?
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